Preserving Speech and Understanding Gossiping (Gıybet)
One of the most perilous traps in a person’s spiritual journey is failing to control their tongue and speaking ill of others. Gıybet, or gossiping, is not merely a social impropriety; it’s a devastating illness that darkens the soul and negates acts of worship. Feriduddin Attar (may Allah be pleased with him) advises his brothers to restrain their tongues, noting that excessive speech can extinguish the heart, and to avoid mentioning the Divine Name for frivolous purposes. The destructive power of gossiping is so immense that Yunus Emre described it as “the menstrual impurity in one’s mouth,” warning that those who gossip are deprived of divine mercy. Therefore, it is essential for true seekers of truth to extinguish the fire of gossip and animosity within their hearts.
The Evil of Gossiping Even When True
A common misconception is that gossiping is not culpable if what is said is “true.” However, as Shakh Sadi eloquently stated, even when the information shared is accurate, engaging in gossip places one in a negative spiritual position. Gossiping transfers one’s own spiritual merit (reward) to another. A profound saying from a pious saint illustrates this: “If I were to gossip about people, I would only gossip about my mother; for wise individuals know that the most appropriate place to dedicate acts of worship and obedience is to one’s mother.” This vividly demonstrates how gossiping essentially gifts away one’s own spiritual capital. When someone denigrates another, they are actually revealing the darkness within themselves. He who comes to you to slander others will tomorrow go to another and slander you.
Fitna (Discord), Carrying Words, and the Golden Rule of Silence
Beyond gossiping lies nemimelik – carrying words or being a go-between. Those who carry messages rekindle old animosities between people and fan embers that have long since died out. Conflict is a fire burning between two individuals; the person who carries words is like a woodcutter constantly adding fuel to keep it ablaze. Therefore, spiritual masters emphasize that speaking when silence is better demonstrates a lack of wisdom, and speaking unnecessarily when one should be silent is foolishness. When a person focuses on their own shortcomings instead of seeking out the flaws of others with frivolous pursuits, they attain true spiritual strength. Protecting one’s tongue protects one’s faith; purifying the heart from envy and gossiping leads to genuine peace.