The Disappointment of Exaggerating People’s Importance
The greatest fatigue and disappointment in human relationships comes from assigning a false value to those around us (spouse, friends, bosses, or managers), as if they were immortal or possessed absolute power. However, Sufi etiquette requires looking at people with a “transient” perspective and not relying on them. “Look at the people with the eye of impermanence. Think that they will perish; look at them in that way. Do not expect benefit or harm from them. Know them as weak and humbled.” A believer who initially accepts the weakness and flaws of people will never be broken when they fail to show loyalty or are subjected to injustice.
The Freedom of Cutting Off Expectations from People
Those who tie their sustenance, existence, and future to the promises of others eventually become spiritually enslaved to those people. Gaylani (may Allah be pleased with him) stipulates that expectations must be directed entirely towards God, saying, “Do not rely on people who do not have power over your benefit or detriment. No one can bestow upon you except your Lord.” Realizing that every position and wealth around us will one day slip from our grasp is the only path to spiritual independence. “How can you rely on the material and transient possessions in your hand? They will inevitably leave your hand, no matter how you try to hold them.” The monotheist servant who gathers all his hopes in the Creator becomes the most free and secure person in the universe.