The Effect of Conversation on the Heart
Sufi scholars and Islamic ethicists frequently emphasize that who a person spends their time with directly affects their spiritual state. A person is influenced by the religion and morality of their friends. Abdülkadir Geylani stated, “You are dead-hearted; likewise, the conversation is with those whose hearts have died… The one who leads you on the path is blind,” indicating that befriending individuals devoid of spirituality and living only for this world will completely darken the heart. To escape this state, it is essential to participate in the gatherings (sohbet) of righteous people possessing faith and knowledge. For being in the company of virtuous people is a cure for spiritual ailments; the soul takes on the color of those around it.
The Importance of Avoiding Bad Company
By sitting with and rising with people of bad character, gossips, and those who do not abstain from forbidden things, one gradually begins to share in their sins. Sheikh Sadi-i Shirazi expresses this truth with a striking analogy: “If an angel were to sit with devils (the wicked), he would lose his angelhood; he would learn wickedness, evil, and corruption from them.” No one who sits with the wicked will ever see goodness or peace. Furthermore, according to what Attar narrates, the person who abandons the company of dervishes and prefers the gatherings of the wealthy, driven only by worldly greed, becomes afflicted with spiritual death and blindness of the heart. A young person who wants to make progress on the path of good should distance himself from ignorant and reckless crowds and seek refuge in the shade of those possessing piety.
True Friend and Spiritual Companionship
A true friend is not one who stands by you for worldly gain, but rather someone who reminds you of the afterlife and tells you your mistakes to your face with tact. Sheikh Sadi states that sincere friends who point out your shortcomings are more valuable than false friends who only praise you and hide your faults. Those who want to progress on the spiritual path should flee from gatherings where gossip is spread and time is wasted, “as if fleeing from a lion.” Instead, in accordance with the rule “Knowledge is learned from those of character,” 56, friendships should be established in gatherings where God is mentioned, knowledge and wisdom are shared. A properly chosen circle of friends is the most reliable safety net to prevent one from falling into the abyss.