In Ihya’ Ulum id-Din, when a person enters a house and sees something that is contrary to religion, if he has the power, he should remove it. Otherwise, he should say with his tongue that this thing is contrary to religion and then return. The things that are contrary to religion and forbidden are: 1) Spreading silk carpets, 2) Using gold and silver vessels, 3) Hanging pictures, 4) Playing musical instruments and allowing music, 5) Having women present in public gatherings, etc. Imam Ahmed (r.a) said that if a silver-plated vessel is seen in a gathering, the gathering should be abandoned. However, Imam Ahmed said that if a silver-plated vessel is found in a house, he would allow staying in that house. If he sees a curtain made of gold or silver in a house, he said that it is more appropriate to leave that house.
Because in a curtain made for decoration only, there is no benefit, nor is it useful for removing heat and cold or covering anything. Imam Ahmed said, ‘Just as covering the Kaaba is not allowed, even if the walls of the house are covered with silk, one should still leave and abandon that place.’ Imam Ahmed continued, ‘A Muslim person, if he rents a house with pictures or enters a bathhouse and sees a picture, he should scratch it off. If he is unable to scratch it off, he should leave that place.’ All of Imam Ahmed’s statements are true. However, one should consider the opinion regarding the decoration of walls with silk and curtains.
Because this situation does not lead to something forbidden. Because silk is only forbidden for men. Indeed, the Messenger of Allah (s.a) said: ‘These two (gold and silk) are forbidden for the men of my ummah, but they are allowed for women.’ (60) Abu Dawood, Nasai, and Ibn Majah
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Silk hung on the walls cannot be attributed to men. If silk hung on the walls were forbidden, then decorating the Kaaba in this way would also be forbidden. On the contrary, it is more appropriate that hanging silk on the walls is permissible. Say: ‘Who has forbidden the adornment that Allah has bestowed upon His servants?’ (A’raf/32) Even more so, if this kind of hanging is not for pride and arrogance, but only opened on certain days, then it is even further away from being forbidden. Although it is thought that men may enjoy looking at silk hanging, this thought does not change the ruling. Because it is not forbidden for men to look at and enjoy women wearing silk. Walls are like women. Because walls have no relation to the qualities of men.
The Etiquette of Preparing Food There are five etiquettes in preparing food: 1. Serving the food in a timely manner. Serving the food early is a sign of hospitality. The Messenger of Allah (s.a) said: ‘A person who believes in Allah and the Last Day should serve his guest.’ If most of the guests have arrived and are ready, and a few people are left or the time has passed, then it is better to serve the food to those who are ready first, taking care of their rights, rather than waiting for those who have not arrived, taking care of their rights. However, if the person who arrives late is poor and was not expected, and his heart will be broken, then it is permissible to delay the food slightly.
Have you heard about the guests who were honored by Ibrahim’s hospitality? (Zariyat/24)
Ihya’ Ulum id-Din
One of the meanings of this great verse is as follows. Preparing the food in a timely manner made them honored guests.
Indeed, this verse also points to this meaning:
Then he brought a fat calf (to serve them).
(Hud/96)
The same meaning is also expressed in this verse:
He immediately went home; he quickly brought a fat (and roasted) calf to serve them.
(Zariyat/26)
The root of the verb ‘Raf’ in the verse means to go quickly. Some say it means ‘to bring secretly,’ while others say it means ‘Ibrahim (a.s) brought a piece of meat.’ However, the name ‘Acel’ was given to the meat because it was brought quickly, from the root ‘Tacel.’
Hâtim el-Esemm said:
Hastening is the work of Satan. However, it is good and recommended in five places: a) In the matter of serving guests, b) In the matter of marrying an unmarried girl (or a bride), c) In the matter of preparing the deceased’s shroud, d) In the matter of paying debts, e) In the matter of repenting from sin.
It has been said that hastening in the wedding feast is also recommended.
It is recommended to serve the wedding feast on the first day. Serving it on the second day is customary. Serving it on the third day is considered showing off.
2. The order of serving food should be as follows: If available, fruits should be served before the meal. Because this is more suitable medically. Because fruits are digested before other foods, so it is more appropriate for them to remain in the stomach.
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In the verses of the Quran, it is indicated that it is more suitable to eat fruits before meals: ‘From what they choose, fruits and the meat of the birds they desire.’ (Vakia/21-22) The most virtuous food served after fruits is meat. Indeed, the Messenger of Allah (s.a) said: ‘The superiority of meat over other foods is like the superiority of Aisha over other women.’ If sweets are also served after the meal, then all the good things are gathered together. Serving meat is sufficient for a feast, as indicated by the verse about Ibrahim’s guest. Because Ibrahim (a.s) brought a well-cooked, roasted calf to them. Preparing meat on the table is one of the essentials of hospitality. Because Allah the Almighty said about the qualities of good food: ‘We have sent down upon you (O Children of Israel) rain and vegetation.’ (Bakara/57) Here, ‘Men’ refers to honey (the power of the divine), and ‘Selva’ refers to meat. The reason why ‘Selva’ is called meat is that it replaces every part of the meat and no other food has this quality. The wisdom behind the Messenger of Allah saying this must be this. ‘The master of the meat is the meat.’ Allah the Almighty said after Men and Selva: ‘Eat from the good things (permissible things) that We have given you as sustenance.’
(Bakara/57)
Ihya’ Ulum id-Din In this regard, meat and sweets are considered the good things of sustenance. Abu Sulaiman ad-Darani said, ‘Eating the good things causes a person to be content with Allah.’ Completing these good things is completed by drinking cold water and washing with warm water. Memun said, ‘Drinking cold and icy water purifies the gratitude to the giver of blessings from all doubts and simplifies it.’ One of the scholars said, ‘If you invite your friends, serve them Hasremiye and Buranjiiye, and then let them drink cold water, then you have completed the feast.’ Someone spent a lot of money to prepare a feast for his friends. When a doctor saw this, he said, ‘If your bread is good, your water is cold, and your vinegar is pleasant, it is enough and even more than enough. You didn’t need to go through all this trouble.’ Some said, ‘Sitting politely at the table after eating sweets and having a variety of foods is more beneficial than having two types of food.’ It is said that when vegetables are present at the table, the angels are present there. Therefore, providing vegetables at the table is recommended. In the table of the Children of Israel, there were all kinds of vegetables and greens except for carrots or parsnip. On that same table, there was a fish with vinegar on one side and salt on the other, seven loaves with olives and pomegranate seeds. It is good to have all these things on the table to resemble the table of power.
First, bring the best variety of food to the table so that those who want can eat to their heart’s content. Then, those who come later should not be left with too much food. The custom of the people of taste is to bring the coarse food first so that when they see the good food, their appetite is rekindled. However, doing this leads to overeating. Hasremiye is a type of food made from dried grapes. It is used for diarrhea. Buraniiye is a dish made for Buran, the daughter of Seklin, the vizier of Memun, and is named after her.
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The custom of the ancients was to bring all varieties of food to the table at once and arrange them. This way, everyone could eat what they liked. If there is only one type of food, the host should inform the guests at the beginning of the meal. Because some guests may think that a more delicious food will come and not eat enough. It is even said that some people wrote lists of the foods they wanted and presented them to the guests. A sheikh said, ‘A sheikh from Sham brought me one type of food. I said to him, ‘In our Iraq, this type of food is only brought at the end of the meal.’ The sheikh said, ‘In our Sham, it is also like that.’ Thus, I understood that there was no other food with him. I was very embarrassed in that situation.
Another person said, ‘We were at a feast. We were served a soup made from boiled brains and roasted meat. We did not eat the coming food because we were waiting for it. Then we saw that a basin was brought for washing our hands. No other food was brought. We looked at each other. At that time, one of the sheikhs present at the feast said jokingly, ‘Allah is capable of creating heads without bodies.’ The narrator said, ‘We remained hungry until the time of sahur that night and even searched for crumbs of bread.’ Thus, to avoid such a situation, either all the food should be brought to the table at once or the guests should be informed about the food.
Guests should not remove the food before they are full and before they take their hands away from the table. Because there may be people among the guests who find the coming food more delicious or who need to eat more. In this regard, if they hurry and remove the food, they will have confused the situation. ‘Being cautious at the table is more virtuous than bringing two types of food to the table.’ This statement may have two meanings. That is, it means being cautious by not eating hastily. A story is told about a joking Sufi: ‘Once we were guests at a stingy rich man’s house. Roasted lamb was served to us. The host, being stingy, saw the guests eating the lamb and became upset, telling his servants, ‘Remove the remaining body and take it to the children at home.’ The servant was taking the body home when the Sufi ran after him and was asked, ‘Where are you going?’ The Sufi replied, ‘I am going to eat with the children.’ At this, the host was embarrassed and ordered the lamb body to be brought back.’
Ihya’ Ulum id-Din The guest should not take his hand away from the table before all the other guests. Because doing so would embarrass the guests. Therefore, the guest should take his hand away from the table only after all the other guests have done so. Generous people inform the guests of all the types of food, give them the opportunity to eat as much as they want, and when the time comes for them to stop eating, they kneel and extend their hands to the food and start eating. They say, ‘I begin eating in the name of Allah. May Allah bless you and us. Help us.’
Sufficient food should be brought to the table. Because bringing less than enough is shameful, and bringing too much is wasteful and showing off. Especially if the person is not willing to have all of it eaten! However, if he is willing to have all of it eaten and intends to be blessed with the leftovers, then more than enough food can be brought to the table. Because it is said in the hadith of the Messenger of Allah that food brought with this intention will not be questioned. Ibrahim ibn Ethem used to have more than enough food on his table. When Sufyan es-Sevri saw this, he said, ‘O Abu Ishak! Are you not afraid that bringing so much food will lead to waste?’ Ibrahim said, ‘There is no waste in food.’
If the intention is not this, then having too much food on the table becomes a burden. Ibn Mas’ud said, ‘It is forbidden to attend the table of someone who boasts about their food.’ A group from the companions of the noble ones did not attend a feast given for pride. Because of this wisdom and secret, the Messenger of Allah’s table never had any leftover food taken away. Because the people of that time did not bring more than what was needed. They did not overeat. Before bringing food to the guests, the family members should be given their share so that they do not have to wait for the food again. Also, they should not speak badly about the guests in case something is left over. At the same time, the guests may eat the family’s share without asking. This is a betrayal of the rightful owners. The leftover food on the table, which the Sufis call ‘zillet,’ cannot be taken by the guests. However, if the food owner explicitly allows them to take it or if it is known that they would be pleased with such an action, then the guests can take the leftovers. If it is known that they do not want it, then taking it is not appropriate at all. When it is known that the food owner is willing to have the leftovers taken, the person should share them fairly and justly with their friends.
In this regard, any guest can only take what is their share. However, if their friends are willing to forgive them out of kindness rather than shame, then they can take more. The Etiquette of Leaving the Feast There are three etiquettes for leaving the feast. It is recommended to leave with the guests up to the door. This action is considered hospitality to the guest. Hospitality to the guest is one of the commanded duties. Indeed, the Messenger of Allah (s.a) said, ‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should serve his guest.’ Again, the Messenger of Allah said, ‘One of the etiquettes of hospitality is to accompany the guest to the door.’ Abu Katada said, ‘When the delegation sent by the King of Habesh, Necaşî, was the guest of the Messenger of Allah, the Messenger of Allah personally served them. When the Companions of the Noble Ones said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! You serve, we will serve for you,’ the Messenger of Allah said, ‘No, because they are the companions of those who migrated, and I want to reciprocate their hospitality by personally serving them.’
Ihya’ Ulum id-Din
The completion of hospitality depends on showing a pleasant face to the guest both when they arrive and when they leave, and on speaking sweetly to them while they are at the table.
Evzâî said when asked, ‘What is the honor (hospitality) of a guest?’ ‘A pleasant face and sweet words.’
Yezid ibn Abu Ziyad (r.a) said, ‘Whenever I went to Abdurrahman ibn Abu Leyla, he spoke to me sweetly and fed me delicious food.’
2. The guest should leave with a happy heart. Even if minor faults have occurred, they should still leave with a happy heart. Because this action is a sign of good manners and humility.
The Messenger of Allah (s.a) said:
‘Undoubtedly, a person reaches the level of a person who fasts during the day and prays at night due to the beauty of his manners.’
One of the Sufis was invited to a feast through an intermediary. However, the intermediary could not find him. Later, when he heard about this, he went to the host’s house on his own. However, the guests had already eaten and left. The host came out and said that the feast had ended and the guests had left. He then asked:
– Is there nothing left for me to eat?
– No!
– If there is even a crumb of bread left, bring it.
– Nothing is left.
– At least bring the bowl so I can wash its bottom.
– I have already washed it.
The person who heard this answer returned, praising Allah. It was said to him, ‘Why did you fall into this situation so much? Was it because of hunger?’ He said, ‘The man did a good deed. He invited us with good intentions and sent us back with good intentions.’
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Indeed, these people know that everything comes from Allah, the One and Almighty. Because of this secret, it is said, ‘I only accept the invitation to remember the food of Paradise.’ That is, the feast is a permissible food, obtained without effort, and the cost and account have been removed from us. Therefore, it is just like the food of Paradise. The guest should leave only after getting the permission of the host. When a guest arrives at a house, he should not stay for more than three days. Because it is a common occurrence for the host to become tired of a guest who stays longer than three days, and it may even lead to the guest being asked to leave. The Messenger of Allah (s.a) said, ‘Hospitality is three days, anything beyond that is charity.’
If the host insists sincerely on the guest staying longer, then the guest can stay longer. It is recommended to have a separate bed for the guest next to every Muslim. Because the Messenger of Allah (s.a) said: ‘There should be a bed for the guest next to every Muslim.’ (62) Muslim and Bukhari