îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din
This noble hadith points out that the reason for encouraging and promoting marriage
is the fear of corruption and immorality arising from the eyes and the act of fornication.
Vica refers to the withdrawal of the male’s sperm. This withdrawal
results in the loss of masculinity. In the hadith, this is used in reference to the
sexual weakness that arises from fasting.
When a person you are certain is trustworthy in religion and honor
comes to you, you should marry your daughter (or woman) to him.
If you do not do this, corruption will arise on earth and a great
chaos will occur.6
In this hadith, the reason for encouraging marriage is the fear of corruption.
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Only those who marry for the sake of Allah alone, and those who facilitate the marriage, are worthy of Allah’s protection (shield).7
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they should also fear Allah for the other half of their religion.8
This hadith also indicates that marriage is a virtue because it prevents
contradiction with Allah and acts as an impenetrable fortress against corruption: For example, the person who corrupts their religion is often the stomach and the sexual organ. Thus, by marrying, a person is freed from one of these.
6) Tirmizî
7) Ahmed b. Hanbel
8) İbn Cevzî
Kitabu Âdâb’in-Nikâh/I. Bölüm
■^ … ü ^x> ^> jy} ;SSe Sn &£ ^si ^’ı j^pjr All of Adam’s deeds are cut off (come to an end). However, three deeds are exceptions. One of them is leaving behind a righteous child who will pray for him after his death. Such a blessing can only be obtained through marriage. The Companions and the Scholars said that Hz. Ömer (r.a) said: ‘There are only two things that prevent marriage: a) Poverty, b) Impotence’. Thus, Hz. Ömer indicated that the existence of debt does not prevent marriage, but also stated that only two unbecoming moral traits prevent marriage. İbn Abbas (r.a) said: ‘The worship of a servant is only completed when he marries.’
It is likely that İbn Abbas regarded marriage as an act of worship and considered it as its completion. However, looking at the apparent meaning of his ruling, it becomes clear that he intended the following: When lust prevails, the heart of the worshipper can only find safety through marriage. Worship is only perfected when the heart is free from the whispers of the devil. Based on this secret, İbn Abbas, İkrime, Küreyb and others would gather their servants or children when they reached maturity and say to them: ‘If you wish to marry, I will marry you. Because when a servant commits fornication, faith leaves his heart!’ İbn Mes‘ud (r.a) said: ‘Even if I had only ten days left in my life, I would still want to marry so that I may not die as a bachelor in the presence of Allah.’
Muaz b. Cebel’ lost two of his wives due to the plague. Although he himself was suffering from the same illness, he said: ‘Marry me; because I do not want to leave this world as a bachelor.’ The actions of İbn Mes‘ud and Muaz indicate that they valued marriage not for protection from lust, but for its virtues. Hz. Ömer (r.a) married many times and said: ‘I only marry to have children.’ One of the Companions of the noble ones said: ‘He turned his back on everything…’
Îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din was only devoted to serving Hz. Prophet and running to fulfill his sudden needs at night. Hz. Prophet asked him: ‘Why don’t you marry?’ He replied: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I am poor and have nothing. Also, if I marry, I will have to leave your service.’ Upon hearing this, Hz. Prophet remained silent. When the same companion answered the same question the second time, Hz. Prophet still remained silent. However, he reflected and came to the conclusion: ‘I swear by Allah, the Messenger of Allah knows better than I do about what will improve my religion and worldly life. He knows better than I do what will bring me closer to Allah… If he asks me again, I will promise to marry immediately.’ When Hz. Prophet asked the same question for the third time, the companion replied: ‘O Messenger of Allah! Then marry me!’ Upon this, Hz. Prophet said: ‘Go to such and such a tribe and say: ‘Rasûlullah has ordered me to give you his daughter in marriage.’ Again, he said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I have nothing.’ Hz. Prophet said: ‘Collect for your brother a weight of gold equal to a kernel of wheat.’ Upon this order, the Companions collected the gold and took it to the mentioned tribe. They married their daughter to him. Hz. Prophet told him to eat the meal of the guardian.
Upon this, the Companions immediately gathered to collect the money for the meal of the guardian, bought a sheep, and the incident ended in this way. The repeated question of Hz. Prophet, ‘Have you married?’ indicates that marriage itself has a great virtue. It is likely that Hz. Prophet was so concerned about his need for marriage that he asked so many times. It is said that in the past, there was an ascetic who spent all his time in worship. He was ahead of all the people of his time in worship. His situation and good deeds were reported to his prophet, who said: ‘If he had not neglected a single sunnah, what a good person he would have been.’ Imam Ahmed (Rebia’dan kasen bir senedle)
Kitabu Âdâb’in-Nikâh/L Bölüm
The ascetic was very upset upon hearing the prophet’s words and became curious about which sunnah he had neglected. To satisfy his curiosity, he went to the prophet and asked. The prophet (a.s) said:
– You have neglected marriage.
– I have not neglected marriage because I consider it forbidden! I am poor and cannot marry. I can only get my sustenance from the people.
– I will give you my daughter.
Then he married his daughter to him.
Bişr b. Hars said: Ahmed b. Hanbel is superior to me in three respects:
1. He provides for his own and his family’s sustenance through work.
I only work for myself.
2. He acts broadly in marriage, whereas I have always acted narrowly.
3. He has shown himself as an imam to the entire ummah.
It was said that Imam Ahmed b. Hanbel married on the second day after the death of his wife, Abdullah’s mother, and said: ‘I consider it disliked to spend the night as a bachelor.’
Regarding Bişr b. Hars, it is said that people criticize him for not marrying and say that he has neglected the sunnah. When this was said to him, he replied: ‘Tell them that Bişr has no opportunity to perform the sunnah because of performing the obligatory prayers.’
On another occasion, when Bişr was criticized again for the same issue, he replied: ‘The following verse prevents me from marrying:
As men have rights over women, so too do women have rights over men.
(Bakara/228)
When this statement of Bişr was conveyed to Ahmed b. Hanbel, he said: ‘Where is a person like Bişr? He is like a sharp edge of a spear.’
Îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din It is reported that despite Bişr’s greatness, after his death, he was seen in a dream and asked: ‘What did Allah do to you?’ Bişr replied: ‘My rank in Paradise increased as I ascended. Even the ranks of the prophets were shown to me. I attained ranks close to them. However, I could not reach the rank of the married.’ In another narration, it is said that Bişr said: ‘Allah Almighty said to me: ‘I did not want you to remain a bachelor.’ The narrator said: ‘We asked Bişr: What did Abu Nasr el-Hilâlî, one of the ascetics, do? He surpassed me by seventy ranks. By what? We thought we knew him better.’
– By his patience in providing for his family’s sustenance and livelihood… Süfyan b. Uyeyne said: ‘Having many wives is not counted in the worldly matters. Because although Ali b. Ebî Tâlib was the most ascetic among the noble companions, he had four wives and seventeen concubines.’ Thus, marriage is an ancient sunnah and a virtue from the prophets’ morality. A man said to Ibrahim b. Edhem: ‘How fortunate you are, dedicating yourself to worship by choosing celibacy.’ – The hardship you endure for your family is greater than all my acts of worship. – Then what prevents you from marrying? – I have no need for a woman.
Therefore, I do not want to deceive a woman. It is said: ‘The superiority of married people over bachelors is like the superiority of a mujahid over a coward. A single rakat of prayer from a married person is superior to seventy rakats from a bachelor.’ Here, a special rank is implied for married people. However, it should not be understood that the rank of married people is higher or closer to the rank of the prophets than other ranks.
Kitabu Âdâb’in-Nikâh/I. Bölüm
Deterring from Marriage
Hadiths
Hz. Prophet said:
After two hundred years of migration, the most virtuous people among people will be those who have little burden. That person who has neither a wife nor children…
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A time will come upon people when the destruction of a person will be done by the hand of his wife, his parents, and his children. They will reproach him for poverty and burden him with things beyond his capacity. Thus, due to all these reasons, he will enter places that cause the loss of his religion and thus be destroyed…
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A small family is one of two kinds of wealth. A large family is one of two kinds of poverty.
When asked about marriage by Ebu Süleyman Dârânî, he answered: ‘It is more virtuous to endure without marriage than to endure with marriage. Enduring with marriage is more virtuous than enduring in the fire.’
11) Ebu Yâ‘lâ
12) Hattabî
Îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din Again, Ebu Süleyman Dârânî said: ‘The joy and peace a bachelor gains from his deeds will never be attained by a married person.’ He also said: ‘I have never seen any of our companions who remained at their former level after marriage.’ He also said: ‘Three things exist, and whoever desires them is considered to have fallen into the world and become corrupt: a) The one who seeks and desires sustenance, b) The one who marries a woman, c) The one who writes hadiths.’ Haşan Basrî said: ‘When Allah intends good for a servant, He does not occupy him with children or with wealth and possessions.’
İbn Ebî Havâri said: ‘A group debated about this hadith conveyed by Haşan Basrî. Then they reached a consensus: ‘The meaning is not the absence of children and possessions, but that even if they exist, they do not occupy the heart.’ At the same time, this hadith conveyed by Hasan also points to Ebu Süleyman edDârânî’s statement: ‘Wealth and children that occupy you are a calamity for you.’ No one has been absolutely forbidden from marriage. When a ruling prohibiting marriage is conveyed, it is always accompanied by a condition. Regarding the rulings that encourage marriage; they sometimes come without conditions and are absolute, and sometimes they come with conditions.
Therefore, we will try to lift the veil on this issue by listing the dangers and benefits of marriage! Benefits of Marriage There are five benefits in marriage: 1. Raising children. 2. Managing the household. 3. Breaking lust. 4. Increasing relatives and close ones. 5. Struggling against the self by respecting the rights and laws of women.
Kitabu Âdâb’in-Nikâh/I. Bölüm
I. Benefit The first benefit is children. Children are the foundation of marriage. The institution of marriage was established for this purpose. The aim of marriage is the continuation of the lineage. It is the prevention of the world from being deprived of the existence of human beings. Lust was created to drag and encourage people towards marriage. Just as a person is assigned to extract the seed from the bull and prepare the female to plant the seed… This kind of creation is a divine favor from Allah for both male and female. This favor drives them to obtain children through sexual union. It is like the favor of scattering the seeds that the bird desires into the trap to lure it… Divine power is sufficient to create a human being from nothing without union and without planting the seed.
However, Allah’s wisdom wanted the causes to be based on causes. In fact, divine wisdom was not obliged to do it this way. Then, what is the reason for doing it this way? The reason for doing it this way is the manifestation and demonstration of power, the completion of the strange aspects of art, and the realization of what was previously desired and written. There are four ways to approach Allah by acquiring children. When humans are safe from the disasters caused by lust, they marry only to approach Allah in that direction. So much so that no one from the successors would want to reach the presence of Allah as a bachelor. These ways are: 1. To be worthy of Allah’s love by working to continue the human lineage and acquiring children. 2. To gain the affection and love of Allah by the multitude that will make the Prophet proud among other nations. 3. To think about benefiting from the prayers of a righteous child after death. 4. To request the intercession of a small child if one dies before them.
Îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din I. Way This first way is the most delicate and the furthest from the understanding of the people. For those who understand the miracles of divine art and the flow of wisdom, the first way is the strongest among these ways. For example, when the master gives the seed and farming tools to the servant and entrusts him with the land to be cultivated, and if there is a servant (lust) who is capable of farming and compels the master to farm, even then, if the servant is lazy, does not use the farming tools, wastes the seed, and deceives and tricks the servant (lust) who watches over him with a trick, the master becomes subject to the master’s punishment and claim. Allah created couples.
He also created the reproductive organs and the eggs. He created the seminal fluid in the pelvic bones and prepared the ovaries, blood vessels, and pathways for the seminal fluid. He created the mother’s womb as a stable center for the seminal fluid. He also gave the desire of lust to both male and female. All these actions and tools clearly express the creator’s purpose. They loudly proclaim the reason for the existence of beings to the wise. Even if Allah Almighty had not clearly stated the purpose and intention of human creation through the tongue of His Prophet, this situation would have occurred. Moreover, He clearly stated this secret through the words of His Prophet: ‘Marry and multiply.’ Thus, a person who avoids marriage (when they are able) has turned their back on plowing the field, wasted their seed, left the tools Allah created and put into operation idle, and has attempted to undermine the purpose of creation, which is clearly understood from the signs of creation, and has ignored the delicate intricacies of the eternal wisdom written by divine hand, which is read by everyone who has divine insight and understanding.
The divine order also considers killing children and burying daughters alive as a great crime, based on this secret and wisdom.
Kitabu Âdâb’in-Nikâh/I. Bölüm
Because doing these things is to hinder the completion of existence. ‘Burying a girl alive is a form of it’ says a person, indicating this dangerous situation. In this regard, a married person has made an effort for the completion of something that Allah Almighty desires to be completed. One who avoids marriage has caused the loss of something that Allah Almighty does not want to be lost. Allah Almighty, who desires the continuation of the soul, has commanded to feed the poor, encouraged people in that direction, and called the expenses made on that path as a debt (loan). Who is the person who would give a good debt to Allah? (Bakara/245) Question: Your statement ‘The continuation of the lineage and the soul is good’ makes a person feel that the transience of generations is something disliked and unwanted by Allah.
This feeling indicates that there is a difference between death and life in relation to Allah’s will. However, it is well known that all of these are by Allah’s will and desire. Allah is also self-sufficient from the worlds. Therefore, how does the difference between their death and life arise or how are they distinguished from non-existence? Answer: This statement is correct. However, it has been misunderstood. Because what we said is not contrary to or conflicting with the attribution of everything in the universe, whether good, bad, beneficial, or harmful, to Allah’s will. However, the concepts of love and dislike are contradictory in their own contexts, but both are not contrary to divine will.
Because there are many things that are willed by Allah, but do not please Him. For example, sins are disliked, but they are also the will of Allah and they please Him. As for disbelief and polytheism (or evil), we cannot say they are acceptable and good for Allah. However, they are also the will of Allah. Indeed, Allah Almighty says: ‘He is not pleased with disbelief in His servants.’ (Zümer/4)