The Depth of Hospitality: The Moral Dimension of Iftar and Food According to Ghazali

THIRD CHAPTER The Etiquette of Serving Food to Guests There is great virtue in serving food to guests. Indeed, Jafar b. Muhammad (r.a) said: ‘When you sit with your companions at the table, prolong your sitting. For this time is not counted against you in your life.’ Hasan Basri (r.a) said: ‘A person will surely be questioned about every expense they spend on themselves, their parents, and their close relatives. However, a person will not be questioned about the food they spend on their religious brothers for the pleasure of Allah. Because Allah, the Almighty, is shy to question His servant about this food.’ When these examples about the virtue of feeding one’s companion in the path of Allah are added to the hadiths that have come about feeding, the virtue becomes clear.

The hadiths say that the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said: ‘Until the food is taken away from the table, the angels recite the salawat-i sherife for the person.’ One of the scholars from Horasan said to his religious brothers: ‘We have prepared so much food that we cannot finish it. A hadith from the Prophet says: 29) Taberani, Evsat

When the brothers of the religion lift their hands from the food, the one who eats the leftovers is not accounted for. If this is the case, then I wish to increase the food I have offered so that we may eat from its leftovers. What one eats with their companions is not accounted for. Some of the Companions would eat a lot when they ate with their companions to please them, but they would eat very little when they ate alone. •^V’ e jfi ^j & &\ Uj j_^İJl lifi ij^’i 0^ ,2-^ ^ Three things exist from which a person is not accounted for: a) The suhoor meal, b) The iftar meal, c) The meal eaten with companions. Hz. Ali (r.a) said: ‘Gathering my friends for a sa’ of food is better for me than freeing a slave.’

Ibn Umar (r.a) said: ‘Providing and serving good and halal food at the table indicates a person’s nobility.’ The Companions (r.a) said: ‘Gathering for food is good manners.’ The Companions (r.a) also gathered for reciting the Quran. When they gathered, they certainly ate something together before dispersing. It is said that the Companions of the noble ones did not gather for the sake of friendship and closeness. 30) Irakî, aslina rastlamadığını söylemektedir.) Ezdi, Duafâ, (Câbir’den) 32) Ezdi, (Câbir’den)

Kitabu Âdâb’il-Ekl/IIL Bölüm

that they gather for a meal sufficient for themselves
It is said that there is nothing in the world.
CJlj İLmLI ul^ :Jj-^ l^^**?^ f^ c-or ^1 ^i G *y^ f ji 4^
^ ^’ J?^
Allah, the Almighty, will say to His servant on the Day of Judgment:
– O son of Adam! I was hungry, and you did not feed me.
– You are the Lord of the worlds, how could I feed you?
– Your Muslim brother was hungry. You did not feed him. If
you had fed him, you would have fed me.33
The Prophet Muhammad said:
When a visitor comes to you, serve them.34
; ^^ı û^i ^} > U/it ^ 1^13 ı^ı; ^ u>u» ^J u> ^ji ^ oı
,pü ^^^ Jî^^ d^J f^^
There are some pavilions in Paradise. Their outsides are visible from their insides, and their insides are visible from their outsides. These pavilions are for those who speak softly, feed for the sake of Allah, and rise from sleep to pray.35
^IaUI ^İ j^ ^y-^-
The best of you are those who feed for the sake of Allah.36
33) Muslim
34) Haraiti
35) Tirmidhi, (Hz. Ali’den)
36) Imam Ahmad and Hakim, (Suheyb’den)

İhya-i Ulûm’id-Din
A person who feeds and drinks heartily for a religious brother is kept by Allah, the Almighty, away from the fire as much as the depth of a ditch. The distance between these two ditches is five hundred years.37
Etiquette of Eating
Regarding the etiquette of eating, some of these etiquettes relate to visiting a guest/going to a meal, and some relate to serving food to a guest.
The Etiquette of Attending a Meal Invitation
It is contrary to the sunnah to observe the times of people’s meals and go to a meal at that time. In this regard, entering a house during the full meal time is considered an unexpected entry, which is prohibited.
Indeed, Allah, the Almighty, said:
O you who have believed, do not enter the houses of the prophets except for a meal. If you are invited, enter, but do not stay waiting for the food to be prepared. When you are called, enter; when you have eaten, disperse, and do not linger in conversation.
(Ahzab/53)
The phrase ‘without waiting for the food to be prepared’ in the verse means ‘do not wait for the food to be prepared.’ Indeed, the Prophet Muhammad said:
•^
Whoever goes to a meal without being invited is considered a sinner and has eaten haram food.38
37) Taberani, (Ibn Umar’den)
38) Beyhaki, (Hz. Aisha’den bir benzerini)

Kitabu Âdâb’il-Ekl/IH. Bölüm

If one enters without observing the meal time and happens to find the meal, they should not eat without permission. When they are told ‘eat,’ they should examine the situation. If they believe that the hosts have genuinely offered the meal and want them to eat, they should eat with them. If they think the hosts are saying this out of embarrassment, it is not appropriate to eat. They should find an excuse and claim they do not need the meal. However, if they are hungry and go to a friend’s house without waiting for the meal time, there is no harm in eating. Because the Prophet Muhammad (s.a), along with Hz. Abu Bakr and Hz. Umar, went to the houses of Abu al-Haysem and Abu Ayyub al-Ansari without being invited to eat.

In such a situation, visiting a Muslim brother’s house helps gain the reward of feeding. This was the custom of the pious predecessors. Avn b. Abdullah al-Mes’udi had three hundred and sixty friends. He spent each day of the year eating at one of his friends’ houses. Another person had thirty friends. He would visit each of them once a month. Another person had seven friends. He would be at one of their houses every day of the week. Their friends would help them in their work. The food they served to these ascetic and devoted people was considered worship for them. If a person enters a house and cannot find the host, and if they trust the host’s friendship, they may eat the host’s food without permission.

Because the intention is for the host’s approval. Especially in matters of food, because there is more room for generosity. There are many people who clearly give permission and swear to it. However, despite this, they are not willing for the other person to eat. In this regard, eating such a person’s food is forbidden. There are also many people who are not present, and it is good to eat their food without permission. Or, there is no sin in eating at the houses of your sincere friends. (Nur/61) 39) Muslim and Taberani, (Ibn Abbas’tan zayıf bir senedle)

Îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din The Prophet Muhammad (s.a) entered the house of Berire (the freed slave of Hz. Aisha). She was not present, but he ate the food that was given as charity. After eating, the Messenger of Allah said, ‘Indeed, charity has found its proper place.’ The Messenger of Allah did this because he knew that Berire (r.a) would be pleased with this. Therefore, it is permissible to enter a house without permission, knowing that the owner will give permission. If one does not know this, they must first ask for permission and then enter. Muhammad b. Vâsık and his companions would enter the house of Hasan Basri and eat whatever they saw without permission. Hasan would come home, see them doing this, and be pleased, saying, ‘We would do the same.’

Hasan Basri would stand in the marketplace and buy dates and figs from a shopkeeper, saying, ‘Take one fig from this basket and one date from that one.’ His companion, Hisam, asked him, ‘O Abu Sa’id! What made you so pious that you are eating without the permission of the person?’ Hasan replied, ‘O Lehim (Cimri)! Read the verse about food to me.’ Hisam read the verse up to ‘or your friends’ (Nur/61). When he reached that point, Hisam asked, ‘O Abu Sa’id! Who is the friend mentioned in the verse?’ Hasan (r.a) said, ‘The friend mentioned in the verse is the one whose soul is inclined towards him, who finds peace, and whose heart finds tranquility…’ A group went to the house of Sufyan al-Sakhati. They could not find Sufyan.

They opened the door, brought down the table, and started eating. At that time, Sufyan entered and said, ‘You have reminded me of the manners of the pious predecessors. They used to do this.’ A group visited a tabi’i. There was nothing to serve the visitor. The visited person went to one of his friends’ house. However, he could not find him there, and he looked at the pot he had cooked. He saw that the food was ready and the bread was prepared, and other necessary things were also available. He took everything, presented it to the visitors, and said, ‘Eat!’ When the owner of the house arrived and saw nothing in the house, he was told, ‘So-and-so came and took everything.’ He said, ‘That was very good.’

Later 40) Muslim and Bukhari, (Hz. Aisha’den)

Kitabu Âdâb’il-Ekl/III. Bölüm

When he met the person who had taken the food, he said, ‘O brother! If the guests come again, you can do the same thing again.’ This is the etiquette of attending a meal. The Etiquette of Serving Food 1. First of all, one should avoid pretense and coercion, and serve whatever is available. If there is nothing available and there is no opportunity to explain, one should not take a loan to feed one’s friends. Because in this case, the soul would be inclined towards temptation. If one has enough to sustain their own expenses and the soul is not willing to give up and feed their friends, it is not appropriate to give them from their own expenses.

One of the Companions went to the house of a ascetic. The ascetic was eating. The ascetic said to the visitor, ‘If I had not borrowed this food, I would have fed you as well.’ Some of the Companions said regarding coercion: ‘It is a sign of concern to serve your friend a more fragrant and more valuable food than what you have already served them.’ Fudayl b. Iyaz said, ‘People are only ruined because of the burden and hardship they take on. For example, someone invites their friend. They go through a lot of hardship for them and thus prevent their friend from coming again.’ Some said, ‘The identity of my friend does not concern me. Because I do not take on any obligation for them. I will only present whatever I have. If I had taken on an obligation, their coming would be burdensome and tiring for me.’

A person said, ‘I used to go to my friend’s house. He would take on obligations for me. I told him, ‘When we are alone, neither you eat this nor I. So why do we eat this when we are together? In that case, either you stop taking on obligations or I will stop visiting you.’ My friend then stopped taking on obligations, and because of that, our visits continued out of respect.’

Îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din Presenting everything you have to the guests and thus harming your children and filling their hearts with hardship and sorrow is taking on an obligation. A person invites Hz. Ali (r.a). Hz. Ali says to him, ‘I accept your invitation under three conditions: a) You will not bring anything from the market, b) You will not withhold anything from your house, c) You will not harm your children.’ Some of the Companions would present everything they had at home to their guests. They would bring all kinds of things to the table. One of the Companions said, ‘We went to the house of Jabir b. Abdullah (r.a). He presented us with bread and vinegar and said, ‘If I were not prevented from taking on obligations, I would have taken on obligations for you.’

One of the Companions said, ‘When a visitor comes, present whatever you have to them.’ Salman al-Farsi said, ‘The Messenger of Allah forbade us from making efforts to prepare something for the guest that we do not have, and commanded us to only serve what we have.’ The Prophet Muhammad said, ‘Yunus (a.s) would present bread and vegetables from his hand to his companions when they visited him and say, ‘Please eat. If Allah did not curse those who take on obligations for guests, I would have certainly endured hardships to prepare something better for you.’ Enes b. Malik and other Companions would present whatever dry bread and dates they had to their guests and say, ‘We do not know whether the sin of the one who despises the hospitality offered to him or the one who despises the blessings at hand and refuses to serve them to the guest is greater.’

This etiquette belongs to the guest. For example; they should not insist on a specific thing. Because finding and bringing that thing would be very burdensome for the host 41) Imam Ahmad

Kitabu Âdâb’il-Ekl/III. Bölüm

to come. If the host leaves the guest to choose between two meals (i.e., mentions two meals and offers to prepare one of them), the guest should choose the one that is easier to prepare. Because this is the sunnah. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a) would certainly choose the easiest one when given a choice between two things. A’mash, from Abu Wail, said: ‘I went with a friend to visit Salman al-Farsi. He served us barley bread with salt. My friend said, ‘If there was also some watercress in this salt, it would be better.’ Hearing this, Salman went to the market, left his ablution vessel as a deposit, and brought some watercress back.

After we ate, my friend recited the following prayer: ‘All praise be to Allah who provides us with sustenance and makes us content.’ Salman replied, ‘If you were content with your sustenance, my ablution vessel would not be in deposit.’ If the guest knows that the request would be burdensome for the friend or believes that the friend would not be able to fulfill the request, the situation is as such. However, if the guest knows that the friend would be pleased with such a request, there is no harm in making the request. Indeed, Imam Shafi’i did this when he was a guest in Baghdad at Za’farani’s house. Za’farani would write down a list of the meals prepared each day and give it to his servant to bring. One day, Imam Shafi’i took the list from the servant’s hand and added another type of meal with his own handwriting.

When Za’farani saw the meal he had ordered on the table, he was upset and said, ‘I did not order this meal.’ They brought him the list, and upon seeing Imam Shafi’i’s handwriting, Za’farani was very pleased and freed his servant. Ebubekir el-Kattani said: ‘I entered the presence of Suri es-Sakati, who brought a drink mixed with bread crumbs and poured half of it into a glass. I said to him, ‘What are you doing? I can drink the whole thing in one breath.’ He laughed and said, ‘Your saying this is more virtuous than a pilgrimage.’

Îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din One of the scholars said: ‘There are three types of meals: a) The meal where you prefer your own soul over the poor, b) The meal eaten with companions, c) The meal eaten with the people of the world.’ The host should urge the guest to express what they desire and insistently ask them to tell them what they want. If the soul is willing, it is both good and a great virtue and reward to make such an offer. Indeed, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said: .Jlu «İl J—LÂ3 ^jiJl «^î j— ^j i j^ »^^ î^ â*, ^ Whoever satisfies the desire of their brother and thus fulfills it, their sin is forgiven.

Whoever makes their Muslim brother happy, surely they have made Allah happy. ^jj jJl iîe ifi «J 4!l >_Jf ^^ij İL «LpI il) Whoever feeds their Muslim brother and satisfies their appetite, Allah, the Almighty, writes a million basens (rewards) for them, erases a million sins, elevates them a million degrees, and feeds them from the three Paradises named Huld, Adn, and Firdevs. One should not ask the guest, ‘Shall I bring you food?’ On the contrary, if there is food, it should be presented without asking. Sufyan al-Sakhati said: ‘When you visit your brother, do not ask him, ‘Do you want to eat or shall I bring you food?’ Immediately bring what is available. If they eat, that is fine; if not, remove it.’

If the host does not want to serve any food to the guests, it is not appropriate to inform them about it or explain it to them. Sufyan al-Sakhati said: ‘If you do not want to feed your children with the food you have eaten, you should not mention it to them or show it to them.’ One of the Sufis said: ‘When the poor come to you, feed them. When the scholars come to you, ask them a question of knowledge. When the reciters of the Quran come to you, show them the pulpit.’

FOURTH CHAPTER
Etiquette of Invitation and Banquet
Etiquette of Banquet
The etiquette of banquet is as follows:
1. Inviting
2. Accepting the invitation
3. Being ready
4. Presenting the food
5. Eating
6. Dispersing
Before explaining these etiquettes one by one, let us mention the virtue of banquet with the permission of Allah. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said:
.