İhya-i Ulûm’id-Din At one point, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) visited a man who owned many camels and sheep, but that wealthy man did not welcome him as a guest. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a) visited a poor woman who had only a few goats, and the woman, treating him as a guest, slaughtered one of her goats as a gift. Upon this, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said: Look at the condition of these two people. Indeed, these moral qualities are in the hands of Allah’s power. Whoever wishes, Allah grants them good morals. Abu Rafi, the freed slave of the Prophet, said: jl ^ :Jlâ> «j^l» .^ji S’
Upon this, the Prophet said: ‘Go to that Jew and say: The Prophet Muhammad has a guest. Give him some flour on loan until the month of Rajab.’ Upon this offer, the Jew said: ‘By Allah, I can only give him flour if he gives me a pledge.’ When I informed the two great ones of the Jew’s words, they said: ‘By Allah, I am confident in the earth and the heavens. If he had given me flour on loan, I would have certainly fulfilled his rights. But take my armor and leave it as a pledge with him.’ When Ibrahim (s.a) was preparing for a meal, he would go out, look around for a few miles to the left and right, and search for someone to eat with.
Because of this, Ibrahim (s.a) was called ‘Abu ad-Diyfan,’ meaning ‘father of the guest.’ As a reward for his good intentions, his blessed shrine (maqam) continues to host feasts to this day. There is no night when three, ten, or even a hundred people do not eat, drink, and stay overnight at his shrine. The caretaker of the shrine says: 45) Harâitî
Kitabu Âdâb’il-Ekl/IV. Bölüm
‘Since the first time I came here, I have never seen a night without guests.’ When asked about faith, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said: . jJjj fWJı ^l*ti :jlü Vjl^jY Li Yemek yedirmek ve selâm vermek. In another noble hadith, he said about the expiation and high degree: Yemek yedirmek ve halkın tatlı uykuda mışıl mışıl uyuduğu zaman kalkıp Allah ile başbaşa kalıp ibadet etmektir. When asked about the accepted pilgrimage (Hajj al-Mabrur), the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said: Yemek yedirmek ve güzel konuşmaktır. Enes (r.a) said: ‘No angels can enter a house where a guest has not entered.’ In short, there are so many reports about the virtue of hosting and feeding for the pleasure of Allah that they cannot be counted in numbers.
Therefore, we will stop here and return to the section on the etiquette of hospitality. Dâvet Âdâbı 1Davete çağıran sofra sâhibi, ittika sahibi and pious people should be invited, while those who are sinful and corrupt should not be invited. Because the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said to some people who had invited him and fed him: ‘The righteous have eaten your food.’ In another hadith, he said: 46) Müslim ve Buhârî 47) Tirmizî ve Hâkim 48) Enes’ten
îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din You should only eat the food of a pious person and feed your food to a righteous person. 2You should especially invite the poor, not the rich. Indeed, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said: .tljîill ûp >û^^ ^! ^^p-ü <»JJJI ^Lil» ^WJl JLi The most sacred meal is the meal of the saints. Because only the rich are invited to meals, and the poor are not invited. 3You should not exclude your relatives from the feast, because this would cause hatred and sever the ties of kinship. 4You should consider the closeness of your friends and acquaintances and act accordingly, because inviting only some of them may cause others to feel excluded and frightened.
5You should not become arrogant and boast about the invitation you have given. On the contrary, you should intend to win the hearts of your friends and follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) of feeding and bringing joy to the hearts of the believers. 6You should not invite someone who is unable to attend the invitation. 7You should not invite someone who you know will cause discomfort to those present at the invitation. 8You should invite those who are certain to attend the invitation. Süfyân es-Sevrî says: ‘Whoever invites someone they do not like to attend is a sinner.’ However, if the invited person does attend, then the one who invited them becomes a sinner twice, a) Because they forced someone to eat against their will, b) If the invited person knew that they were not wanted by the host, they would certainly not come to eat.
52) This was mentioned earlier.) Buhârî ve Müslim
Ki tabu Âdâb’il-Ekl/IV. Bölüm
A tailor asked Ibn Mübârek: ‘I sew clothes for the sultans, am I afraid of being their helper?’ Ibn Mübârek said: ‘No, the helpers of the oppressors are only those who sell needles and thread to them. You are the oppressor himself.’ Attending an invitation is a recommended act. Some say that attending an invitation is obligatory. Indeed, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said: ‘If I were invited to a meal of the leg (kura), I would attend. Even if a piece of meat were given to me as a gift, I would accept it.’ The Etiquette of Attending an Invitation The etiquette of attending an invitation consists of five things: 1. There should be no distinction between the poor and the rich. If one only attends the invitation of the rich and not the poor, this action falls into the category of arrogance and pride, which is forbidden.
Based on this wisdom, some of the successors have explained the reason for abandoning the original intention of attending as follows: ‘Waiting for the soup is a disgrace.’ Another person said: ‘When I extend my hand to another’s plate, my neck becomes bent and I become disgraced.’ Some arrogant people refuse to attend the invitation of the poor and only attend the invitation of the rich. This action is the opposite of the Sunnah. Because the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) attended the invitation of everyone, regardless of whether they were slaves or poor. At one time, when Hz. Hasan, the son of Hz. Ali (r.a), was sitting by the roadside and passed by a group of people who were begging, he saw that they had spread their food on the sand. He greeted them while riding his donkey.
They responded to his greeting with: ‘O grandson of the Messenger of Allah, will you not join us for our meal?’ Hz. Hasan said: ‘Of course I will come, because Allah Most High does not love those who show pride.’ He dismounted from his donkey and sat with them, eating with them. After eating, he got back on his donkey and said: ‘I have attended your invitation, so you should also attend my invitation.’ They replied: ‘Yes, we will also attend your invitation.’ He then set a specific time for them. They came at that time and he served them the most delicious food, sitting with them and eating with them. The statement ‘If I extend my hand to another’s plate, my neck becomes bent and I become disgraced’ is contrary to the Sunnah. Because if the host does not rejoice at the guest’s attendance and does not consider the guest’s coming as a favor, then attending the invitation is not only a disgrace but also a favor for the guest.
The Prophet Muhammad (s.a) attended all invitations. Because he knew that by attending the invitation, the host would bear a great burden of gratitude, and he would see the visit as a provision for this world and the hereafter. Therefore, this situation changes with the change in circumstances. For example: If the host knows that the meal is a burden for him and that he only prepared it out of pride or coercion, then attending such an invitation is not in accordance with the Sunnah. On the contrary, it is more appropriate to find excuses not to attend such an invitation. For this reason, one of the successors said: ‘Only eat the food of someone who has given you a share of their provision and has handed over an entrusted item to you, and by accepting that entrusted item, you have done a great favor to them.’
Sırrî es-Sakatî said: ‘I would weep for that morsel because there is no responsibility to Allah and no debt to any creature in it.’ Therefore, when the invitee knows that there is no debt in the invitation, they should attend. Ebu Turâb en-Nahşâbî said: ‘A meal was offered to me (without any obstacle), but I did not eat it. As a result, I fasted for fourteen days. I reflected and came to the conclusion that this punishment was due to my refusal of the invitation without any reason.’ When told to ‘If someone invites you, attend immediately,’ Mâruf-u Kerhî said: ‘I am the guest, and wherever they seat me,
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2. The poverty or high rank of the host should not be an obstacle to attending, nor should the distance of the journey be an obstacle. It is normal for any distance not to be an obstacle to attending. For this reason, the Torah or one of the heavenly books says: ‘Travel one mile for visiting the sick, two miles for the funeral, three miles for attending an invitation, and four miles for visiting a friend for the sake of Allah.’ The greater importance given to attending an invitation for the sake of Allah than visiting a friend is due to this wisdom: Both of these matters are obligations for the living. Giving priority to the rights of the living is more important than giving priority to the rights of the deceased.
Indeed, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said: ; If I were invited to the place called Gamım, I would certainly attend. The name Gamım is the name of a place a few miles away from Medina-i Münevvere. When the Prophet Muhammad left Medina during Ramadan and arrived there, he would break his fast and pray the prayer of travel upon each visit. 3. One should not avoid attending an invitation because they are fasting. On the contrary, they should attend the invitation. After attending the invitation and being present, if breaking the fast would please their friend, they should break their fast immediately. The reward for the joy they receive from sharing the meal with their religious brother is much greater than the reward from a voluntary fast.
All these rulings are about voluntary fasting. (In the case of obligatory fasting, this is not applicable). If the host’s inner joy is not certain, they should break their fast to confirm the host’s outward joy. If they are certain that the host is not sincere and that the invitation is forced, they should find excuses not to break their fast. 52) This was mentioned earlier.) Müslim
İhya-i Ulûm’id-Din and avoid eating. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a) said about someone who avoids eating by claiming they are fasting: Your brother has made great efforts and prepared a meal for you, but you avoid eating by saying you are fasting. Ibn Abbas said: ‘Breaking a voluntary fast to please your friend’s heart is one of the most virtuous deeds.’ Therefore, breaking a voluntary fast with this intention is an act of worship and good conduct. Therefore, the reward for doing this is greater than the reward for continuing the voluntary fast. If the person who is fasting does not break their fast despite all the insistence, then their feast is to perfume the air, burn incense, and speak kindly.
It is also said that spreading perfume and using fragrant oils is a form of hospitality. If there is doubt about the food, if the displayed items are not halal, if silk is used on the table, if silver vessels are used, if there are paintings of living beings on the walls or ceilings of the dining area, if there are musical instruments that are religiously forbidden, if there are games that are haram, if there is backbiting, false testimony, slander, lying, and similar things being done and shown, one should strongly avoid attending such an invitation. All these situations not only prevent attending but also make it disliked and haram. If the host is a tyrant, a heretic, a sinner, a corrupt person, or someone who is obsessed with showing off, one should not attend their invitation.
The purpose of attending an invitation should not be to satisfy hunger, as this indicates working for the world. On the contrary, one should attend with the intention of working for the hereafter and strive to prove this. For example: Attending an invitation with the intention of following the Prophet Muhammad (s.a)’s saying: ‘If I were invited to a meal of the leg (kura), I would attend.’ 54) Beyhakî
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etmelidir. Davete icâbet etmekle, Allah’a masiyetten korunmaya
niyet etmelidir. Çünkü Hz. Peygamber (s.a) şöyle buyurmuştur:
âıı ^ Alî ^liı ^ p .
Çağırana (eğer dinî mahzur yoksa) icâbet etmeyen muhak
kak Allah ve Rasûlü’ne isyân etmiştir.55
icabet etmekle mü’min kardeşine ikrâm etmeyi niyet etmeli
dir. Böylece Hz. Peygamber’in yolunda yürümüş olur, Nitekim Hz.
Peygamber şöyle demiştir:
.411
^jjl İL^İ ^
Kim mü’min kardeşine ikramda bulunursa sanki o kimse
Allah’a ikram etmiştir.56
.Âlll * J-*» ı*îy t*- û/
Bir mü’mini .sevindiren, muhakkak Allah’ı sevindirmiş
olur.57
Bu hadîse uyarak davete icabet etmekle çağıranı sevindirmek
gibi, davet edenin ziyaretine de niyet etmelidir ki, bu sayede Allah
için sevişenlerden olsunlar; zira Allah için sevişmekte Hz.
Peygamber karşılıklı ziyaret ve ikramı şart koşmuştur. Böylece bir
taraftan ikrâm, diğer taraftan da ziyaret olmuş olur.
Bir kimsenin davete icabet etmemesi yüzünden kötü zanna
kapılıp hakkında saçma-sapan konuşulmasına meydan vermeme
lidir. Meselâ icabet etmemesinin, kibir, gurur, kötü ahlâk, nıüslü-
man kardeşlerini hakir görmek ve benzeri kötü ahlâklara hanıle-
dilmesine fırsat vermemelidir.
Konunun başından buraya kadar zikredilenlerin tümü altı hu
sustur. Dâvete icabet etmesi sadece bunların birisiyle olsa bile,
55) Müslim ve Buhârî
56) İsfehânî
57) Buhârî
îhya-i Ulûm’id-Din Allah’a yaklaştırıcı ibâdetlerden olur. Acaba hepsi bir arada olursa nasıl olur? Selef-i sâlihînden biri şöyle demiştir: ‘Her amelde, hatta yemekte ve içmekte bile benim bir niyetim olmasını sever ve isterim’. Hz. Peygamber (s.a) şöyle demiştir: ®’j*
j’ ^H^i ^ j! ^y>* cjL^ j^J aJ^j—J_j 4İ1 Jı Ameller ancak niyet ile vardır, (veya kâmildirler). Her kişi niyet ettiğini elde eder. Bu bakımdan kimin hicreti (gidişi) Allah’a ve O’nun Rasûlü’ne ise, o kimsenin hicreti Allah ve Rasûlü’nedir. Kimin hicreti elde etmek istediği bir dünyalık veya evlenmek istediği bir kadına ise, onun kazancı da kasdettiği hedeftir.
Bu hadîsler, bu gibi hükümler hakkında vârid olmuştur. Niyet ancak mübahlara ve ibadetlere tesir eder. Yasaklarda ise, niyetin zerre kadar müsbet bir tesiri olmaz. Bu bakımdan arkadaşlarını sevindirmek niyetiyle içki içirir veya başka bir haram hususunda yardımda bulunursa, bu niyet, kendisine zerre kadar fayda vermez ve bu hususta ‘ameller ancak niyete bağlıdır’ denilemez. Dahası vardır: Eğer tâat ve ibâdetin tâ kendisi olan gaza ve muhârebe ile şöhret ve ganimeti kast ederse, kötü niyeti onu ibâdet olmaktan çıkarır. Hayırlar ile mübah da böyledir. Ancak iyi niyetle hayır sınıfına girer. Bu bakımdan niyet bu iki kısımda tesir eder.
Üçüncü kısım (haram) da ise, hiçbir tesiri yoktur. Dâvet Olunan Evde Bulunmanın Âdâbı 1Davette hazır olmanın âdâbına gelince, eve girip baş tarafa geçmemeli ve yerlerin en iyisini işgal etmemeli, aksine tevâzu gösterip, alçak gönüllü davranmalıdır. 2Geç gelmek suretiyle misafirleri bekletmemelidir.) Buhârî ve Müslim
Kitabu Adâb’il-Ekl/lV. Bölüm
3Yemek hazırlanmadan önce ansızın gelmemelidir. 4Hazır bulunanları, sıkıştırmak suretiyle rahatsız etmemelidir. Ev sahibi kendisine bir yer gösterir veya işaret ederse, ona muhalefet etmemesi lâzımdır. Çünkü ev sahibi kendi kafasında sofrada herkesin yerini tâyin ve tertip etmiş olabilir. Bu durumda ev sâhibine muhalefet etmek onun plânını altüst etmek demektir. 5Eğer misafirlerden bazıları, kendisine ikrâm olsun diye baş tarafa oturmasını işaret ederlerse, tevâzu göstermesi gerekir. Çünkü Hz. Peygamber (s.a) şöyle demiştir: Meclisin en aşağısında oturmaya razı olmak, Allah rızası için tevâ-zu gösterip alçak gönüllü olmak demektir. 6Kadınların bulunduğu hücre (oda) kapısına gerdikleri perdenin karşısında oturmamalıdır.
7Yemeğin hazırlandığı yere çok bakmamalıdır; zira böyle yapması oburluğun işaretidir. 8Oturduğu zaman, ancak, yakınında oturan kimsenin hâlini sorup ona selâm vermelidir. Gece kalacak bir misafir geldiği zaman, ev sahibi misafire gelir gelmez şunları yapmalıdır: a) Kıbleyi, b) Helâyı, c) Abdest alacak yeri göstermelidir. Çünkü İmam Mâlik misafiri bulunan İmam Şafiî’ye böyle yapmıştır. İmam Mâlik (r.a) yemekten ve misafirlerden önce elini yıkayıp şöyle demiştir: ‘Yemekten önce ev sahibinin el yıkaması daha uygundur. Çünkü o, misafirleri ikramına davet eder… Öyleyse herkesten önce el yıkama hakkına o sahiptir’. Yemeğin sonunda ise herkesten daha sonra yıkamalıdır ki sonradan gelenleri beklemiş ve onlarla yemek yemiş olsun.) Harâitî ve Ebu Nuaym