BEŞİNCİ BAB · ÜÇÜNCÜ FASIL · On İkinci Madde
**Second Article**
Concerning the manners and customs of kinship interaction and familiarity.
O esteemed one! Know that the learned have said: There are seven manners and customs for a person’s interaction and familiarity with their relatives:
A person should visit their relatives from time to time and speak sweet words to them. The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “O Abu Zar! Visit me frequently,” [282] thereby announcing that frequent visits to relatives increase affection.
If possible, a person should visit their relatives once a week. If this is not possible, then once a month; if that is not possible, then once a year. If even this opportunity is unavailable, they should send a gift or write a letter, or send greetings. [380/a]
A person should be united, indivisible, and like one hand in matters of solidarity and mutual assistance with their tribe, fellow townsman, and close relatives. Therefore, a person should not offer their own needs to their relatives first, so as to relieve them of hardship. They should grieve with their sorrows and share their joys. They should make visits of condolence and congratulations when appropriate. When they visit, they should greet them standing, express their pleasure, and converse joyfully. Upon departure, they should rise together and escort them to the door.
A person should not refuse a relative’s due need, for refusing it severs the bonds of kinship. It is for this reason that neighborliness among relatives is considered undesirable – lest frequent face-to-face encounters diminish affection, reduce mutual respect, and lead to the severing of kinship ties. As it has been narrated: “The Exalted One watches over those who maintain kinship ties and severs those who break them.” [283] In this situation, maintaining kinship ties can be fulfilled by sending a greeting, but that constitutes only a voluntary act.
After one’s father, a person should listen to and respect their uncle, older brother, and paternal aunt in the same manner as they would their father; and they should treat them with compassion and mercy as if they were their children.
After one’s mother, a person should consider their maternal aunt and maternal uncle as their own mother; and they should show them honor, generosity, and affection. If a person sees that a relative has been captured, they should purchase and free them.
A person should endure all manner of oppression from their relatives and swallow bitter words. They should visit the sick and attend funerals, and fulfill their bequests. For relatives expect the full fulfillment of the acts of kindness required by kinship ties from one another. If that expectation is not met, they abandon kinship and turn to enmity.
Therefore, it behooves relatives to care for their relatives’ families with kindness and loyalty so that kinship does not turn into animosity. They should be found fulfilling the obligations of kinship and safe from the evil of envy.
**Poem**
*Akâribu ke’l-akâribi fî ezâhâ*
*Fe lâ tefrah bi ammin ev bi hâlin*
*Fe kem ammin yekûnu’l-gammu minhu*
*Ve kem hâlin ani’l-ihsâni hâlin*
**(Translation of the poem)**
Relatives are sometimes like scorpions, a torment; do not rejoice in an uncle or aunt. For there are uncles who bring sorrow and grief! And aunts who have not partaken of kindness!