BEŞİNCİ BAB · ÜÇÜNCÜ FASIL · Beşinci Madde
Article Five
Concerning the etiquette and observances of a single knower marrying.
O, esteemed one! Know that the people of refinement have said: If a novice, being single, desires to marry after completing his spiritual journey and becoming a realized and perfect individual, there are fourteen conditions for marriage which must align with his intention:
1 – To intend protection from sin and to remain chaste.
2 – To prepare funds for the wedding feast and dowry. If he has no money, let him borrow and consider Allah, Exalted be He, as his guarantor in repayment.
3 – Let him not refrain from marriage out of fear of poverty and hardship; rather, let him place trust in the Most High.
4 – Let him betroth a pious and sensible woman of pure lineage and noble ancestry. For a wife who is obedient to her husband and righteous is worth an abundance of gold; she is considered among the most excellent of worldly blessings. Such a woman, however poor or humble she may be, will be loved by her husband and he will cherish her with tenderness.
5 – Do not marry for lineage, wealth, or beauty. For one who marries for honor becomes impoverished and remains in destitution. One who marries for beauty brings disgrace upon himself and finds calamity.
6 – Marry a woman whose lineage, wealth, age, and appearance are below your own. For the heart inclines towards such; thus you will be freed from the glances of your wife that belittle you. [376/b]
7 – If a woman desires to be betrothed, let her seek in a man piety, handsomeness, and generosity.
8 – Keep the dowry at the minimum measure. For the most virtuous dowry is four hundred mithqals of silver.
9 – If possible, hasten to give the dowry.
10 – Give a wedding feast even if it be with a single sheep.
11 – Consider providing food at the wedding banquet as a bounty. For it is a taste of the delights of the gardens of Paradise.
12 – Adorn oneself by wearing one’s finest garments at the wedding.
13 – Before entering the bridal chamber, perform two rak'ahs (units) of prayer.
14 – First, take your wife’s forehead and supplicate: “O Allah, make my spouse blessed to me, and me blessed to my spouse.”
It was asked of Hazrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) regarding whether a woman should be thin or plump; he replied, "Let the bed be soft."