BEŞİNCİ BAB · DÖRDÜNCÜ FASIL · Üçüncü Madde
**Article Three**
Concerning the manners and protocols of conversing with ignorant people, and the method of mingling among the common folk.
Beloved! Know that those learned in propriety have said: There are manners and protocols for sitting with and rising from ignorant people, and methods for mixing amongst the common folk, which are necessary for everyone, young and old.
The manners and protocols for sitting with ignorant people are five:
Do not be swayed by their words.
Do not lend an ear to their ugly and meaningless utterances.
Ignore the vulgar expressions prevalent among them.
Avoid meeting them as much as possible and do not linger in their assemblies.
Be independent of them and not reliant upon them.
Therefore, whoever mixes with ignorant people should prefer silence until he frees himself from them. Thus, he protects his honor from their influence and departs from them with dignity.
There are many customs and ceremonies observed by the common folk, all of which are explained within this article.
Therefore, if you join amongst the common folk, it is incumbent upon you to act in accordance with their customs and ceremonies. Be friendly and amicable with both enemies and friends, without fear or anxiety, according to your own disposition. Show respect and service to those greater than you, compassion to those lesser, and gentleness and suitability to your equals. Thus, you will find ease and safety; you will attain honor, power, and felicity.
When sitting in an assembly of people, beware of being deceived by their excessive flattery and do not be swayed by their words. Shorten your visit without causing them distress by prolonging the conversation and remaining too long. Avoid opening your head and combing your hair in a gathering, snapping your fingers, playing with your beard and ring, picking at the spaces between your teeth. Refrain from inserting your finger into your nose, spitting, and cleaning your nose. Avoid frequently swatting flies that land on your face, excessive stretching, and yawning in front of people’s faces.
Let your posture be always dignified and your speech proper when you are in an assembly. You should listen to the beautiful words of one who speaks with you—without showing excessive affection or expecting astonishment in response—and pass over ugly and immoral jokes with silence. Do not boast about yourself by reciting your litanies, passages from poems you have written, and other behaviors, thereby displaying self-admiration to people. Avoid excessiveness in adornment; do not go to extremes in applying kohl or wearing perfume. Do not belittle anyone and do not attempt to compel someone to do something against their will, lest they be weary of you and feel oppressed.
Do not be a companion of rulers and an assistant to tyrants, for this is sedition and calamity. If you are tested by nearness to the sultan, then sit at least a spear’s length from him in his assembly, for closeness to the sultan is a burning fire. Beware of friendship with health and well-being, for it is among the most prominent of your enemies. Consider your property more precious than your honor, and do not be hasty in hostility towards those who are your adversaries. Avoid making gestures with your hand and excessive backward glances.
You should sit cross-legged and not speak until your anger has subsided. Do not tell anyone the amount of your wealth, even to your family members, for they will either consider it little if they see it is small, thereby diminishing your worth in their eyes, or they will be difficult to please and hard to satisfy if they see it is great. Do not jest with servants and female slaves, nor belittle the people and mock them, for such behaviors diminish your dignity in their presence and cause shame upon your face; these things inflict distress on hearts, lead to recklessness, and ultimately result in animosity, contention, and conflict. Therefore, if someone mocks you, do not immediately respond but distance yourself from them. If someone oppresses you, surrender him to Allah and respond with gentle words. Do not curse any of the creatures of Allah or anyone among those who turn towards Him in prayer, for everyone’s inner state is known only to Allah alone. Therefore, do not intercede between Allah and His servants, and certainly guard your tongue from gossip (backbiting). For backbiting a Muslim is more forbidden and grievous than thirty acts of adultery within Islam.
Do not make promises to anyone, until people are shown kindness through action rather than words. If you are compelled to make a promise, be extremely careful not to break it, for breaking one’s word is the characteristic of hypocrites. Do not lie, for lying is the mother of all sins and forbidden in every religion. A liar is rejected by people and distanced from the mercy of Allah, the Exalted and All-Knowing. Avoid argumentation and debate when speaking with people, for these contain accusations of ignorance and shame, and are a means of exposing one’s own cleverness and purifying oneself and boasting. Indeed, Allah has said, "Do not exalt yourselves" (An-Najm 53:32) and forbade self-praise, announcing how evil it is.
A wise person has said: “Speaking about the faults of a friend is actually praising oneself.” Therefore, do not accustom your tongue to self-praise, for a conceited person is worthless; his status is low in the sight of Allah and in the eyes of people.
Do not swear falsely by Allah’s name. Avoid swearing by anyone other than Allah, and do not praise anyone in their face. When speaking…
This is a difficult text to translate perfectly while maintaining the intended nuance and poetic feel. Here's an attempt at a faithful translation, prioritizing meaning and preserving the tone as much as possible:
I prefer our time, and fault lies within us.
For what fault has our time besides ourselves?
A wolf does not consume another wolf’s flesh,
Yet we devour one another openly.