BEŞİNCİ BAB · ÜÇÜNCÜ FASIL · Onuncu Madde
Regarding a person’s interaction and familiarity with their children: its manners and customs.
O esteemed one! Know that the learned have said: The manners and customs of a parent's interaction and familiarity with their children are twenty in number: The father rejoicing at his child’s birth. For the Most Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has said, “A child is a source of joy in this world and light in the hereafter.” To show greater joy for daughters and to honor them [379/a].
For the most virtuous offspring are daughters. As the Most Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has said, "The blessing of a woman begins with bearing a daughter." [279] For I asked the Almighty for children who would not be a burden to me. He bestowed upon me daughters.”
To give a beautiful name to the child whose birth is announced. On the seventh day or later, to slaughter two sheep for a male and one sheep for a female in fulfillment of *aqiqa* [Shāfi‘ī school], either distributing their meat without breaking the bones or cooking them and feeding others. To circumcise a son from the age of seven years to ten years. When sons and daughters reach the age of six, to teach them recitation of the Noble Qur’an, religious instruction, and religious manners.
To teach a son writing, archery, swimming, and a profession suitable for his time. For it is said in the hadith, “Craft protects from poverty.” [280] If a child shows eagerness for learning, then this is guidance for him (and encouraging him in that which he is eager to learn is most appropriate).
*Qita*
[A verse:]
Learn language, inflection, syntax, and manners.
Mathematics, wisdom, and astronomy with instruments.
In the sciences of meaning, the foundations of religion and law.
Hadith, jurisprudence, exegesis, and Sufism.
[Translation into Modern Turkish is provided in the original text.]
To give a son a good nickname. To teach a daughter cooking, spinning wool, and sewing (the household chores prevalent in her time). To treat all children equally in adornment [in providing clothing] and nourishment [feeding]. To offer choice fruit first to daughters, for their hearts are more tender and their feelings more delicate.
To embrace and kiss children with affection, stroking their heads with tenderness. To deal with one’s children with mercy at all times. To jest and speak kindly with them whenever opportunity arises. Not to curse them but to bless them. For cursing leads to poverty and is often answered quickly, spoiling [their good deeds]. To separate the beds of sons and daughters who reach the age of ten, having them sleep in separate beds (and if possible, separate rooms). For placing girls and boys together in the same space from that age can lead to temptation. To marry children when they reach fifteen years of age, with their consent. Not to command a child to do what is beyond his ability, lest he become rebellious.
To feed one’s own children what one eats and dress them in what one wears. No one should harbor ill will towards the offspring of another, for its harm will return to him and eventually lead them on separate paths. As Joseph's brothers took him from his father and subjected him to captivity (yet ultimately) their own offspring fell into the hands of Pharaoh. Thus they reaped what they had sown and found their punishment.
*Beyt*
[A couplet:]
In retribution, no one errs even a hair’s breadth in fault.
The mirror of the world is a wondrous manifestation of justice.
[Translation into Modern Turkish is provided in the original text.]