The essence of futūwwa (youthfulness, here meaning dervishhood or humanity) is that the servant is eternally at the service of another.
Fudayl said: Futūwwa is to overlook the faults of friends. It has also been said that futūwwa is not to see oneself as superior to another. Abū Bakr Warrāq says: The fatā (youth, chivalrous one) is the one who has no enemies.
Muḥammad ʿAlī Tirmidhī said: Futūwwa is to be an enemy to your own nafs (the lower self) for the sake of your Lord's riḍā (contentment with God's decree). It has been said: The fatā is the one who harbors enmity towards no one.
When Junayd was asked what futūwwa is, he replied: Futūwwa is not to despise the poor, nor to seek favor with the rich. Naṣrābādhī says: Murūwwa (manliness, virtue) is a branch of futūwwa. Futūwwa is to turn away from both worlds.
When one of the Sufis was asked, "What is futūwwa?" he replied: It is to see no difference between a walī (friend of God) and a kāfir (disbeliever) who eats at the servant's table.
Junayd says: Futūwwa is to refrain from harming people and to spend what one possesses for them. Sahl ʿAbdullāh (Tustarī) says it is to follow the sunnah.
It has been said that futūwwa is loyalty and keeping one's word. It is a virtue you perform without seeking a share for your nafs. It is not fleeing when a beggar approaches you. It is not hiding from those who come to present their needs to you. It is not hoarding and not making excuses (not doing anything that would require an excuse, or not holding back by bayān [clear exposition] or offering an excuse). It is to declare blessings but keep hardships hidden (to keep them secret). If you invite ten people to your table, it is not being disturbed if nine or eleven come. It is to abandon discrimination. (Qushayrī, 113)
It is among the virtues of futūwwa to cover the faults of friends, especially those faults that would give enemies cause for clamor. (Qushayrī, 114)
Allah the Exalted has said: "They were youths who believed in their Lord, and We increased them in hudā (guidance)." (al-Kahf 18:13) Futūwwa is to consider yourself superfluous, to see no right belonging to yourself.
There are three degrees to this: The first degree is to abandon enmity, to overlook faults, and to forget harm.
The second degree is to draw near to those who oppose you, to show generosity to those who harm you, and to apologize to those who wrong you. This is to be done not by restraining your anger, but by muṣāmaḥa (forbearance), and not by mutual endurance, but by mutual love.
The third degree is, when you set out on a journey, not to rely on a proof obtained by inference; not to let the suspicion of expecting something in return enter into your response to an invitation; and not to become fixated on forms in your witnessing.
Know that one who needs the intercession of his enemy and is not ashamed to apologize to him cannot even smell the scent of futūwwa. Furthermore, in the special knowledge, it is said: For the one who seeks the light of ḥaqīqa (inner reality) by inference, the knot of the claim to futūwwa will never be untied. (Manāzil, 23)
According to us, futūwwa is to abandon affectation and to offer what is present. Sometimes, affectation may cause the guest to leave. By abandoning affectation, the guest's station is veiled and his departure is prevented. (ʿAwārif, 257)
Futūwwa has a station of strength. What Allah has created from nature is stronger than air. The creation of man—if he is a mu'min (believer)—is stronger than air. As has been related in a qudsī hadith, when Allah created the earth, the angels expanded it. (Futūḥāt, I, 307)
There is no weakness in futūwwa (youthfulness). It is a state between childhood and old age. It is the span of a person's life from puberty until the completion of forty years. (Futūḥāt, I, 308)
Futūwwa is the act of preferring the right of another over one's own right. The Lawgiver has established the following regarding others: A person's nafs has a right over him that, in the sight of Allah, is more necessary than the right of another. But the fatā is one who, not for his own sake but for the sake of another—and only by the command of his Lord—works for the right of another, not his own.
This has two aspects: One is permissible, which is to fulfill a command of Allah. The other is not permissible everywhere. When the ʿārif (gnostic) is in the station of giving rights to their owners and there remain rights related to himself, there is no position for being the absolute possessor of futūwwa. (In this case) he already prefers others to himself, for he has begun by fulfilling the right of his own nafs. This beginning does not harm the condition of futūwwa. But if he does not begin with this, and the other side of futūwwa—which is to obey Allah's command—is harmed, he is ruined. Its specification is as follows: He says, "I am a mu'min (believer), and Allah has purchased the nafs of the believers." (Futūḥāt, II, 232)
Futūwwa is not to see in oneself any superiority or right. Its first subtlety is to abandon enmity, to disregard humiliation and harm. Its second subtlety is to approach those who distance themselves, and to show generosity to those who harm, without even needing to swallow anger or exercise sabr (patient endurance). Its third subtlety is not to be preoccupied with forms (not to be concerned with people's outward appearances). (Rawḍa, 484)
Futūwwa is to see the good in a friend, not their faults. (Anwār, II, 164)
In the dictionary, futūwwa means generosity and hospitality. In the terminology of the people of ḥaqīqa (inner reality), it is to prefer others to oneself after being affected by this world and the hereafter. This is to spend yourself for every nafs and every base person. It is to firmly establish their authority over you. Futūwwa is said to be purity, generosity (sakhā), and loyalty. It is said to be seeing no importance or value in anything. It is to do good to both those who have and those who do not. If there is no one fit for it, you become the one fit for it! It is said: Futūwwa is for the servant to be eternally at the service of another. (Jāmiʿ, 232)