It is not abandoning protection (that is, not desiring anything haram).
The eighth aspect: to ask, but not to be hasty in the acceptance of the request. For to be hasty in this matter is contrary to the etiquette of dua (supplication). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade haste in dua. (Tanwīr, 45)
The first principle of adab (spiritual etiquette) is that fear (khawf) does not reach the level of despair (ya's), hope (rajāʾ) does not reach the level of security (excessive confidence), and joy (surūr) does not reach the level of audacity in committing sin. The second is to move from the state of khawf to the state of qabḍ (constriction), from rajāʾ to basṭ (expansion), and from surūr to mushāhada (witnessing). The third is to know adab, then to be content with the discipline (ta'dīb) of the Real (al-Ḥaqq), and then to be freed from the burden of adab (the difficulties and hardships encountered in fulfilling the required etiquette). (Rawḍa, 485)
The shaykhs have agreed that, although the servant may earn reward through acts of worship and enter Paradise, they cannot reach their Lord without observing adab in servitude. It is known that the aim of the community of Sufis is nearness to the special presence of the Exalted Allah and to be with Him without any veil. (Anwār, I, 34)
When visiting the grave of any shaykh, it is among the rules of adab that the murīd (aspirant, disciple) should not hold the belief that the shaykh is dead and cannot hear him. In order to attain his blessing, what is proper in terms of adab is to believe in the barzakh (intermediate life) of that shaykh. If a person visits a walī (friend of God) at his grave and remembers Allah at the head of the grave, he should accept that the walī is sitting in his grave and remembering Allah together with him. Imām Shāfiʿī, Zunnūn al-Miṣrī, and a group of shaykhs from Qarāfa, we have witnessed this many times. (Anwār, I, 161)
The adab to be observed when with the shaykh is to love him. If a person does not go so far in loving his shaykh that it influences all his desires, he will not find falāḥ (success) on that path. For the love of the shaykh is like a training for the murīd to reach the love of the Real (al-Ḥaqq). Whoever does not love the intermediary between himself and his Lord — and the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) is also among those intermediaries — that person is a hypocrite (munāfiq). And the hypocrite is in the lowest depths of Hell. If you have understood this matter, in order to know whether you are truthful or false in love, you should recall some of the characteristics of those who love their shaykhs. (Anwār, I, 167)
The adab to be observed when reading the words of the imams is to submit to their words, not to object, and not to ignore other madhhabs (schools of law) and cling fanatically to one madhhab. For the imams certainly know better than people like us. For this reason, it is not proper for a person from whom it is not appropriate to seek knowledge to give an answer. (Anwār, II, 162)
Imam Shāʿrānī, in his work Duraru'l-Ghawwās fī Fatāwī Sayyid ʿAlīyyi'l-Ḥawwās, says: I asked him what is the most severe (shiddat) punishment that a servant will encounter: He said, "That the ruh (spirit) is taken from him." I asked what is the most delightful blessing: He said, "That the nafs (lower self) is taken." I asked which is the most perfect knowledge: He said, "To know the Real (al-Ḥaqq)." I asked which is the most virtuous of deeds: He said, "Adab." I asked what is the beginning of Islam: He said, "With submission (taslīm)." I asked what is the beginning of iman (faith): He said, "Riḍā (contentment with God's decree)." I asked who is the one deeply rooted (rāsikh) in knowledge: He said, "The one whose firmness increases in the matter of the removal of his nafs." For, when with the Real (al-Ḥaqq), one must be with Him, not with his own nafs or his own will. Whoever finds delight in the state of knowledge but loses it when his nafs is taken, that person is with his nafs both in presence and in absence. (Mashāriq, 32)
Adab is to treat people with compassion and not to remind them of what one has given. (Jāmiʿ, 54)
Adab is of three kinds: The adab of the common people is to abandon words that, even if true, are of no benefit. The adab of the elite (khawāṣṣ) is to learn what is good and encourage the nafs to do it, and to learn what is evil and keep the nafs away from it. The adab of the elect (akhāṣṣ) is to know the Real (al-Ḥaqq) in both abundance and hardship. (Jāmiʿ, 61)
In the language of the people of reality (ahl al-ḥaqīqa), adab is to gather good qualities in the nafs. It has also been said: Adab is to behave well towards Allah both secretly and openly. It has also been said: Adab is to know the nafs…
adwiyye 201. The adab of the people of the world is things like eloquence, rhetoric, and memorizing knowledge. The adab of the people of religion is the discipline of the nafs, training the limbs by adhering to the limits of the religion and abandoning shahawāt (carnal desires) thereby. The adab of the elite (ʿārifūn, gnostics) is to purify the hearts, watch over the secrets, show fidelity to covenants, preserve the times, not pay too much attention to passing thoughts (khawāṭir), and to observe adab at the moment of asking, in the state of presence, and in the stations of nearness (qurb).
It has been said that the perfection (kamāl) of adab is found purely only in those who are prophets (nabī) and the truthful (ṣiddīq). It has also been said: The servant reaches Paradise through his obedience, and reaches Allah through the adab in his obedience. (Jāmiʿ, 201)
The root of adab in the principles is to be in a state of moderation between the states of qabḍ (constriction) and basṭ (expansion). The adab at the beginning (bidāya) is to avoid excess and to abandon harshness in obedience.
In the abwāb (spiritual doors), adab is for fear (khawf) and hope (rajāʾ) to be balanced, and not to reach ifrāṭ (excess), so that fear does not turn into despair (ya's) and hope does not turn into security (amn).
In transactions (muʿāmalāt), adab is to fully give the right of discipline (tarbiya).
In character (akhlāq), adab is to make it a habit to be between ifrāṭ (excess) and tafrīṭ (deficiency). The degree of this state of moderation in the principles of Sufi (taṣawwuf) training is that it is not subject to a confidence contrary to the judgment of reason, and that one walks this path with the sacred light (nūr).
In spiritual states (aḥwāl), adab is to act according to the ruling of the state, not according to the requirements of knowledge.
In walāya (sainthood), adab is to progress from surūr (joy) to mushāhada (witnessing), and from the multiplicity of attributes to the field of ṣafā (purity, refinement).
In realities (ḥaqāʾiq), adab is that, at the moment of reaching the presence of union (ittiṣāl, or maʿrifa), the state of basṭ (expansion) disappears due to the awe of majesty (jalāl).
In the ends (nihāyāt), adab is to need no discipline other than the discipline of the Real (al-Ḥaqq), the discipline of adab itself…