One should not lose them and must avoid doing things they do not desire. If one sees their benefit in a matter, one should not harbor any resentment toward anyone. If one of the brethren becomes offended, one should treat him kindly so that his displeasure may end; if the displeasure does not cease, one should increase one's ihsan (spiritual excellence) toward him and continue to act well until the estrangement is over. If one feels resentment or sorrow in the qalb (the heart) toward any of the brethren due to backbiting or any other reason, one should not show it and should believe inwardly that the opposite is true.
Conversation with outsiders should be as follows: The murīd (aspirant, disciple) should conceal secrets that ought not to be spoken from outsiders, look upon them with compassion and mercy, entrust their property to them, and conceal the rulings of the tariqa (a Sufi path/order) from them. One should be patient with their bad character, avoid being in their company as much as possible, not believe oneself to be more virtuous than them, and believe that they are Muslims and that Allah can forgive them.
The murīd should consider that he may be put to the test, that he will be called to account for trivial and insignificant matters, for both major and minor sins; that Allah will not forgive the same sins from the scholars that He forgives from the ignorant; that He does not pay heed to the common people (ʿawām), but that those among the elite (khawāṣṣ) are in danger. (Gunya, II, 169-170)
Conversation with the poor should be as follows: When the murīd converses with the poor, in eating, drinking, clothing, sitting and standing, pleasure and comfort, he should prefer them over himself. He should see himself as lower than them and know that he has no superiority over them in anything. (Gunya, II, 170)
O son! Your will has not been strengthened for the sake of the Truth. You are not His murīd.