If he sees that there is a sense of arrogance and pride, he treats it by subjecting the murīd (aspirant, disciple) to a state of humiliation contrary to his character, in order to break his pride. If the shaykh observes in the murīd an excessive concern for cleanliness that goes beyond moderation and propriety, he orders him to clean the toilet and prepare the water for purification. If the shaykh sees that a young murīd with strong carnal desires (shahwa) is prone to indulgence in food and sexual urges, he instructs him to fast, and to do so consecutively, but not to the extent that it becomes forbidden. In this way, the shaykh shows his murīds the paths of moral purification and similar methods. (Mizān, 61)
One group has said: The murīd and the murād (the one sought by God) are the same, for if the murīd were not the object of Allah's will, he could not be a murīd. Only the one whom Allah has willed becomes so, for the Real (al-Ḥaqq) has specifically willed the murīd and enabled him to will.
Others have said: The murīd is the beginner (the one at the start of the Sufi path), while the murād is the one who has reached the end of the path. The murīd is the one who is weary and exhausted, enduring hardship and difficulties. The murād is the one who accomplishes his task without fatigue or hardship.
The general rule regarding beginners who intend the path of Allah is that Allah enables them to strive, brings them to Himself, removes their burdens, lightens many supererogatory acts for them, distances them from carnal desires, suffices them with obligatory and sunnah acts in all worship, preserves their hearts, protects the boundaries, and severs their attachment to anything other than the Real in their hearts. Thus, their outward is with people, their inward with the Real, their tongues filled with Allah's wisdom, and their hearts filled with His knowledge. Their tongues are ready to advise Allah's servants, and their hearts are prepared to safeguard Allah's trusts. Peace be upon them! (Gunye, TL, 159)
What the murīd must do is to avoid outwardly opposing his shaykh and to abandon inward objection to him. Whoever outwardly rebels has abandoned proper conduct; whoever inwardly objects is at a loss. On the contrary, he becomes a perpetual adversary to his shaykh. The murīd must restrain his nafs (the lower self) from opposing his shaykh both outwardly and inwardly, and should frequently recite Allah's verse: "Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who preceded us in faith and put not in our hearts [any] resentment toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are Kind and Merciful." (al-Hashr 59:10) If the murīd encounters something in his shaykh that is religiously undesirable, he should inquire about it indirectly, by allusion or hint, so as not to incur his shaykh's displeasure. If he sees a fault in his shaykh, he should conceal it, blame himself, and interpret it in a religiously acceptable way. If he cannot find a religious excuse for his shaykh, he should seek forgiveness for him, and supplicate for his success, knowledge, vigilance, infallibility, and zeal. He should not believe that his shaykh possesses isma (infallibility), nor should he tell anyone such a thing. If, on a subsequent day or at another time, he goes to his shaykh and finds that the previous state has left him and that he has ascended to a higher station, he should not mention this to him. This is because such a change arises from heedlessness, unfamiliarity, and the difference between two states. For between the two states lies recourse to the sharia's (the sacred law) dispensations and the abandonment of resolve and what is more difficult. (Gunye, II, 164)
While in the presence of his shaykh during samāʿ (spiritual audition), the murīd should not move without the shaykh's indication. Unless a state arises that removes his discernment and choice, he should not consider it as a state for himself. When his agitation subsides, he should immediately return to calmness, proper conduct, dignity, and the state that Allah has deemed appropriate for him. (Gunye, II, 167)
In disciplining the murīd, the shaykh must accept him for Allah's sake, not for his own benefit. Therefore, he should treat the murīd according to the rule that "Religion is sincere advice," look upon him with compassion, and treat him gently when he is unable to endure spiritual discipline. He should train the murīd as a mother trains her child, and approach him as a wise and intelligent father would approach his child or servant. Thus, he should begin with what is easiest for the murīd, not burden him with what he cannot bear, and gradually increase the difficulty. The shaykh should first command the murīd to abandon following his own nature in all matters and to cease acting upon the dispensations of the religion, so that he may be freed from the bonds and dominance of his own nature and become bound by the bonds of religion. After this, the shaykh should gradually direct the murīd from dispensations to resolve, replacing each trait of dispensation with one of resolve.
If, at the beginning of the tariqa (a Sufi path/order), the shaykh perceives that the murīd is sincere in striving and resolve, either by the light of Allah or by knowledge as Allah has caused to occur with His believing walī (friend[s] of God), trustworthy and learned servants in the past, he should not show him any leniency. On the contrary, with strong will, he should command him to undertake the most difficult disciplines, knowing that he will not fail. For the shaykh knows that the murīd was created for this and is worthy of it. If there is something the murīd must do, the shaykh should not betray him by commanding what is easy. In any case, it is not appropriate for the shaykh to benefit from the murīd's wealth or service.
The shaykh should not expect any reward from Allah for disciplining the murīd. Rather, he should train the murīd in obedience to Allah's command and as a gift from Him. For the murīd who comes to the shaykh solely by Allah's guidance (hudā) and direction, without the shaykh's preference or desire, is a gift from Allah. Therefore, the shaykh's duty is to accept that murīd, train him well, and show him ihsan (spiritual excellence). (Gunye, II, 168)
Companionship with fellow seekers on the tariqa, preferring them over oneself, showing futuwwa (spiritual chivalry), forgiving them, and serving them without claiming any right over anyone, without demanding any right from anyone, and considering that everyone has a right over oneself, is the proper way to be among them. In everything they say and do, the murīd and murād should act in accordance with them, always being with them even if it is against oneself; this is among the etiquettes of companionship with fellow seekers. He excuses them, overlooks their faults, refrains from opposing, distancing, contending with, or being harsh with them. He ignores their shortcomings. If one of the brothers opposes him in a matter, even if the opposite is true, he openly accepts what his brother says. Always, the brothers...